Jamie R

[I'm sorry for the length of this post, it just got a bit out of control!]

Well at the end of the day a blog is somewhere where one can convey his thoughts, so I thought I’d do just that. Some would say I’m far too open about stuff, and randomly post it on the Internet. However, I’m me. I’m just me…

Christmas…

My Christmas was fairly boring in parts. I can’t really say I did much, other than just the usual Christmassy things of seeing family and friends, unwrapping a few presents and indulging in far too much food and alcohol. Ah well. Now I’ve got to loose it all.

I got some really awesome presents for Christmas. Laura made me a really fantastic little boxy thing with lots of lovely bits in there. She also gave me a new lava lamp (just what I needed cos I’d broken my old one) as well as a hand decorated cup and mug. It was really, really awesome of her. It’s all so awesome. She’s really creative creative like that. Danke

New Year…

I spent new year round Nick’s house in Frinton. Me, Nick, Alex, Lloyd, Kris, Graeme, Jamie, Alarick and Ross had a proper good time and saw the new year in with lots of booze and loud music. It had to be done. Some of the antics we got upto were rather amusing. Let’s just say, J knows not to be the first one to fall asleep at a party

New Years Day was welcomed by a trip down to a cafe in Frinton. Full English breakfast (it’s bad, read below) all round was duly deserved after the drinking that went on during the previous evening. All sorted lads.

New Years Resolutions…

I’ve been thinking about what I would class as a “New Year Resolution”, and I can’t think of one single thing - I can think of lots of things. With most people breaking them within a month, I guess there’s no real point in actually making a few. However, I am going to do so. There are a few suspects which I guess I could call a suitable candidate for being a NYR. Unfortunately, it won’t be anything that special or fancy, but they are connected with me, and only me in a way. I guess, for the 5th or so year running, the main one that I would call NYR is to loose weight. I’m pretty annoyed with myself, because in the last two months (well, counting from the beginning of November), I seem to have put on about a stone. Now, due to lack of decent scales I haven’t weighed myself yet. I’ve been about 16 stone for the last couple of years (yeah, it’s scary), but I think it’s increased. I can no longer get into *three* pairs of jeans that I could fit into 2 months ago, nor can I get into my Vans t-shirt.

Now the thing is, I’ve said that I will try and diet countless times in the last few years. Yes, I have lost small amounts of weight here and there. However, I’ve never really properly dieted. I guess one would call me a bit of the lazy side. However, I want this to be the last year that I have to say “I’ve said that I will loose weight as a new year’s resolution for the last 5 years and it hasn’t worked”. I want to actually make a go at it. I don’t want to loose much, only probably a stone or two. I want to be able to get back into them jeans. I want to be able to bike around without feeling out of breath. I want to do it for myself.

I really want to make a go of it. Anyone who will know me knows that I can be a bit of a slacker at times. I have motivation to do things that other people have told me to do (for instance, if someones needs help with something), and all that kinda stuff. I however have little motivation most of the time to actually do anything that concerns me. I guess you could call it that I’m slowly pushing a self destruct button.

I’ve been saying that I’ll try and loose weight for ages. I’ve also been saying I’ll try and get a job for ages. I really need to actually change my attitude towards all of this, because at the end of the day, no one else can. Only me. I guess this blog post is a way of trying to kick myself into actually doing something about it rather than sitting on my arse and doing nothing about any of it.

Self motivation?

Self motivation is one of the demons of Jamie R. I battle with it. Half of me says, stuff it. Do it tomorrow, and I’ll go back to the forum that I’m currently browsing or continue a half witted (or sometimes deep, complex) conversation with someone. The other half of me tells me to get on with it. It’s like college work. I’m in the middle of getting my examination prep. work done for Tuesday. I have a 20 hour examination (over 2 weeks) on Microsoft Excel (of all things…) starting on Tuesday. I guess I shouldn’t be here now writing this blog post, but to be honest, I’d rather do this.

What I’m really like…

I guess for the people who have never met me and don’t know me personally, their only idea of my personality would be through my website - predominantly the content of my website of my blog, and the style of my writing. You will probably see that the website doesn’t get updated much and that there are things which say “will be done soon” or whatever. I’m not gonna make any excuses, like I’ve done in the past. This website doesn’t get as much attention as it should. This website doesn’t have half the stuff on it that I like it to have. However, I just don’t have the time anymore. I don’t have the time, and to be honest, I stopped doing most of my web development related stuff coming up for 2 years ago. I guess you could say that was my old life. I’ve moved on.

Moving on…

On the subject of moving on and change. I was thinking the other day about how things are generally in my life now, and from about the beginning of 2006. That’s a whole 2 years ago now. Thinking retrospectively, a heck of a lot has changed. Not just with my life, but with people and their attitudes in general. At the end of the day though, it has to be said. People get older and people move on. Maybe that’s what I don’t like. I don’t like people moving away from me. I like the people who are close to me to stay close to me. I don’t like drifting apart from people. I guess the whole talk of university and everyone going their separate ways puts me in that frame of mind, I don’t know.

Laurababes…

This year, Laura will be off to university. I don’t know what’ll happen between us after then. All I can say is that I hope we stay together. She means the world to me, I don’t know what I would do without her. She’s just everything to me right now. I guess the three weeks apart from her while she’s been in Australia has done me some good. Whilst I’ve hated it because I’ve missed her, it just makes me realise how good the last 15 months has been with her. She’s back from Australia soon, so I’ll be able to hear all the tales she has to tell. I really can’t want to see her, she’s back on the 7th. Maybe that’s why I’m so happy atm. Ily

10 years time…

I wonder what my life will be like in 10 years time. I’ll find out in 10 years time. Will I be single? Married? Have my own place? Know many of the people I know now? Will my mum and dad still be about? What kind of job will I have? How much money will I have?

Career…

I guess one thing leads to another there. However, I really want a career in IT preferably, doing network administration / management etc. A position in a large company’s IT department as a network administrator / technician would be awesome. At the minute though, I need a contracted job, but I’ve got to start small. I do freelance(ish) IT work for a few small businesses where I live and support a few private people I know. It’s a start in the IT industry and it provides me with valuable experience. Also, when I was helping out at my college, it was really invaluable. I learnt so much there.

Theatre Tech…

I guess I’ve come to the conclusion that although I love doing lighting/sound etc for shows, concerts etc, it probably won’t be a career path for me. I don’t know why in a way. I absolutely love doing it. Something just doesn’t feel right about it. I think I’ll always end up doing it here and there as a hobby, but I don’t think it’ll be a career. There again, I might be doing something totally different in 10 years time!

2008…

I think 2008 will be an extremely important year for me. I will:

1. Turn 18. Will be good,apart from paying tax.
   
2. Start driving (some of you may remember that I took my first driving test in August. I’ve now failed 4 times. I have bad concentration sometimes, and during that kind of test, it flattens me)
3. Finish sixth form education. Do I go to another college? or uni? Depends on the next point
4. Hopefully get a full time job. If I succeed in getting a decent job then I won’t go to university. I’ve applied for the 2009 season anyway.
5. Hopefully shed a few stone, but that down to me I guess. As are 3 of the above points.
6. Hopefully go abroad. I’ve never had a proper holiday abroad, so it’d be nice.
7. A few other bits…which I can’t really discuss here because it’ll just cause problems.
8. Lots of other stuff I can’t think of. It’ll come to me - there are other things, but it’s 3:25am.

A good kick up the arse is just what the doctor ordered…

I’ve had enough of saying to myself that I will do something, and then not do it. I want to actually make a go at doing the things that I keep on kidding myself at. Loosing weight is the main thing. I know I can do it. Everyone says I can do it, it’s just…doing it. If it took 5 minutes, it wouldn’t be a problem, but that’s not the case. It takes will power, iron determination and a good kick up the arse. I start dieting, but then I revert back to when I’m bored or a bit annoyed, I’ll eat. I’ve done that since I was 7 years old. I’m fed up of it. I’ve promised Ems that I will try, so I have to now. I’ve promised…

Why so long?

And for the record, I decided to write this rather long, kinda varied blog post rather than what I did last year because I wanted to do something different for a different year. It’s a new year, and a very different one. A lot of things are going to be different this year. A lot of things are going to change. I’m fairly sure that some of the people I knew last year I won’t know by the end of this year. In the same context, I’ll meet a lot of new cool people this year. 2008 is a new year for new experiences and new challenges. I want to leave the shit behind that’s plagued me over the last few years and start afresh. I find it hard to forget the past, but I want a fresh start in a fresh year.

My friends…

I have a lot of awesome friends and I thank them for being them. The usual sorta thing. You know who you are, I won’t mention names this year.

Learn from the past, look to the future…

Anyway…as my college’s old slogan was “Learn from the past, look to the future”, I’ll take that…and somewhat agree.

Well if anyone actually reads all, or even any, I thank them. Please leave a comment if you want to. I think I can safely say I’ve written the longest blog post ever.

Have a good 2008. Have fun!

Best wishes,

Jamie R.